As we get into the Steps, we find it indispensable to rely for help on those who have gone this way before. In Twelve Step programs, the term commonly used is sponsor.

Experienced members advise getting a temporary sponsor as soon as one is serious about recovery. Later, when we are better established in the fellowship, we can choose another.

Withdrawal from our addiction may leave us in a state of emotional and spiritual shock that can persist for some time. Our sexaholism has so separated us from reality and others that we may appear to others as being “not there.” We cannot see the truth about ourselves because we are lost inside ourselves. And for some time, we suffer from tunnel vision, nearsightedness, farsightedness, astigmatism, or all of them put together—anything but normal vision. Some gentle or not-so-gentle holding up of the mirror and prodding are usually necessary, and above all, we need the example of a life that’s making it.

We take responsibility for our own recovery, but we don’t remain isolated and “in charge” of it. We surrender to God and take direction from the sponsor. Thus, we go to meetings and start making our Connection with people. Alone, we cannot make the transition to reality.

Perfection in the sponsor is neither necessary nor possible. Taking the action of getting out of ourselves is what counts, even though this may not be what we feel like doing. The sponsor can help us conquer the delusion that we should only do what we feel like doing. “Take the action,” the sponsor says, “and the feelings will follow. If you wait for the feeling first, it’ll never happen.”

© 1982, 1989, 2001 SA Literature.
Reprinted with permission of SA Literature.